Why It’s So Hard to Accept Yourself and What You Can Do About It

It's easier to talk about what we prefer to look like rather than feel content about our current looks. We tend to talk about how life would be easier if only we lost ten pounds or had the perfect skin or different hair.

Now some people are happy with their current looks. Many people don't doubt that they'd be pretty content if they looked in a magazine. But most people aren't satisfied with what they see in the mirror today. And honestly, there's nothing wrong with trying to look better.

But most of the time, we try in vain to achieve things that are simply out of our control. Believe it or not, sometimes we can tell we're trying in vain. But we don't stop. Accepting ourselves can be one of the hardest things we do.

So Why Is It So Hard to Accept Ourselves?

We find it hard to accept ourselves because others shape how we see ourselves. As soon as we come into the world, our caregivers strongly influence who we become. They shape us, or at least our perception of ourselves, from the moment we're born.

The parents we interact with and friends we make along the way significantly influence our lives and how we feel about ourselves. Sometimes we don't even realize that others are affecting us.

We won't always agree with what others think we are, but the opinions that others have of us matter to us. They can cause us to think negatively about ourselves.

When we go to school, others judge our worth on academic performance rather than on our passion or personality. As a result, we might develop a negative view of ourselves.

This process can make us feel inferior or depressed, especially when others seem more successful or famous.

It's important to remember that others have the right to form their own opinions of us. But that does not mean their views are necessarily accurate.

So, What Can You Do About It? Try these tips:

1. See yourself as a work-in-progress. We are all growing and learning, and that's okay. Don't let it keep you from going forward if you make a mistake. Realizing that you're a work-in-progress rather than a perfect being will give you the motivation you need to keep trying, no matter what.

• One thing you can do is edit your choice of words to reflect this. Changing your language this way lets you feel that there's a possibility to change.

2. Be compassionate with yourself. As humans, we are flawed. It's essential to know our flaws so that we don't beat ourselves up over them.

• If you need help accepting yourself, look at yourself through someone else's eyes. Talk to yourself as if you were talking to a friend. Take a pen and paper and write down how you intend to help yourself. These things can help you focus on your positive qualities.

3. Talk to your friends. If you tend to get down on yourself, join forces with someone else who suffers the same way. Knowing they have your back can be uplifting.

• On the other hand, making friends with others who feel bad about themselves can do more harm – it might cause both of you to wallow in your self-pity rather than do something about it. In that case, you’ll have to find friends who will encourage you to be positive.

We don't always notice how others influence us. It's too easy to forget the power that others can have over our lives if we let them. So, make it a point to be compassionate with yourself, see yourself as a work-in-progress, and encourage yourself to be positive. Soon, you’ll notice that you have a much higher regard for yourself!